


Wasted Time

by angsty_nerd



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Dark!Ten, F/M, post-Waters of Mars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25406290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angsty_nerd/pseuds/angsty_nerd
Summary: When death comes knocking, the Doctor defies time and fights for what he wants.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Comments: 10
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this and posted it on LJ and WhoFic, like, in 2010 (former username Cookie2697). Archiving here now.

  
_“I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”_  
  
~William Shakespeare, Richard II, 5.5.49  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~* Chapter 1 *~*~*~*~*~  
  
Death was knocking at his door.   
  
The Doctor understood now. He had fractured time, crossed the line, gone a step too far, and now time was coming for his life. A blast rang out in the cold, dark night. A premonition appeared to him: an Ood. Not just any Ood, but the Ood who was the first to foresee the end of his days. Fear and horror surged through his very being as realization and epiphany brought him crashing to his knees in the snow and frost.   
  
As he tried to come to terms with his own impending doom, the fear dissipated. Determination and resolve pushed him back to his feet and into the TARDIS. His body warmed as a new plan formed in his mind.   
  
"No."   
  
He slammed a lever down on the TARDIS console, his decision made. Time still rebelled, and the cloister bell rang out in warning, screaming for him to give in, to allow time to take his life and repair the damage caused, but he refused. Death may want him, but he did not want death. Not yet.   
  
The Doctor was just beginning to understand what he was capable of. He had been wrong to try to save the life of Captain Adelaide Brooke. But there were others whose fates weren't sealed. There were people closer to him whose lives were not a fixed point in time. They could have had a second chance, if he had been willing to fight. If only he had previously understood that he could actually use the power of time that he held so firmly in his grasp.   
  
But he was willing now. He may have lost the battle for Adelaide Brooke, but this time he would fight harder. And this time he would win.   
  
He was the Lord of Time, and if time wanted to consume him, it would have to wait for him to right the things that he had done wrong.   
  
He forced the TARDIS into flight, even though she fought him, even with the constant clanging of the cloister bell ringing in his ears. He pushed her forward, retracing the steps of his own life, back to a moment where he had allowed the so-called laws of time to determine the course of not one life that he loved, but two.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Rose Tyler wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, to rage against the universes for all that they had done to torture the Doctor. Because it just wasn’t fair. It was _wrong_.  
  
As if what the universes had done to the two of them wasn’t bad enough, now he wasn’t even allowed to see her, to know that she was there, listening to his every word through the sub wave network.   
  
And then he had to find out about the Daleks.  
  
The waver in the Doctor's voice as he addressed the Dalek ship broke Rose's heart. She clenched her empty hand, wishing desperately that she was with him, so that she could slide her hand into his and comfort him as, once again, his nightmares came back to life. She wished that she could see the Doctor, but the face of Davros, a face of nightmares, was all that filled her video screen. He had intercepted their signal, conquered it, and made it his own, killing the last remnant of hope that the sub wave network had instilled in them. At least she could still hear him. The Doctor's voice. A voice she had waited years to hear again.   
  
"After all this time...everything we saw, everything we lost. I have only one thing to say to you. BYE!"   
  
The sub wave network cut out and Davros's face disappeared, but Rose sat there for a long moment, staring at the blank computer screen, waiting to see if the Doctor would reappear. He didn't, and that could only mean one thing.   
  
"He's coming," Rose realized aloud, pushing herself to her feet. "I should go."   
  
"You can't go!" Sylvia Noble argued. "How will you find him? He could be anywhere!"   
  
"I'll find him with this," Rose explained, holding up the yellow disc that she had tucked away in her pocket. "It's a dimension jump. I used it to travel between parallel worlds, to try to find the Doctor. My team back home can lock it onto the TARDIS's energy signal. The moment he lands on earth, I should be able to find him."   
  
The words had barely left Rose's mouth when the sound of the TARDIS engines wheezed into life. A wind ripped through her hair while she watched in awe as the ship began to materialize in the living room of the Noble house.   
  
"Here..." Rose gasped. "He came here. Of course. Donna would want to check on you. It must be."   
  
Distantly, she noted Wilf gasping, "Oh my God, Sylvia! It's the little blue box! It's his space ship!"   
  
The materialization sequence finished and the door to the TARDIS swung open, the inside glowing brilliantly as the Doctor stepped into the open doorway and reached out a hand. To her.   
  
"Rose? Come with me."   
  
Rose was so amazed that she could only nod, a slightly dazed smile on her face. "Okay."   
  
She took his hand and was about to disappear into the TARDIS with him, when suddenly Wilf's voice shook her back to reality.   
  
"Wait a minute, Doctor. You can't just pop in here, take Rose and go. Where's Donna? Where's my little girl?"   
  
Rose looked up to the Doctor inquisitively. He was looking at Wilf like he had forgotten that the man was standing there.   
  
"Wilfred Mott," the Doctor greeted him happily. "Good to see you again. Sorry, yes. Donna. She's not with me right now. But she'll back home to you soon."   
  
The Doctor tried to turn to leave, but Wilf stopped him again. "No, wait! Don't give me that, Doctor. She was there with you on the computer just a moment ago, and now she's not? I don't buy that for one minute, sir. Now where's Donna?"   
  
"She's safe, Wilf. I promise you. You will see Donna later, and everything will be fine. Better, even. Trust me. She'll be back soon."   
  
Before Wilf could say another word, the Doctor pulled Rose into the TARDIS, whisking the door shut. Rose gasped in surprise, as he whirled her around, and pressed her up against the newly closed door, his body flush against hers.  
  
"Now then, since we're alone, there's something I've been wanting to do for a very long time."   
  
Before Rose could even respond to him, he lowered his lips to hers in a firm, but passionate kiss. Her heart almost stopped in her chest. A voice in the dark recesses of her mind was screaming, "Daleks! Stars going out! World needs saving!" But it was quickly replaced by the realization that the Doctor was kissing her. By choice. Because he wanted to! Almost immediately her mind went blank and all she could do was feel. His lips were pressed to hers insistently, and his tongue demanded a taste of her. She surrendered completely, letting him take all that he wanted, and it was glorious.   
  
She pulled away regretfully, gasping for breath and staring up at him in amazement. The Doctor's lips were swollen, his eyes wide and dark, and just looking at him made Rose want to snog him again. His hands were on her hips, his body oh-so close to her, and she could barely think. Her head spun as she tried desperately to catch her breath in an effort to ground herself back to reality.   
  
But the Doctor didn't seem to want reality. His lips found her throat, and she gasped as he continued to kiss and taste her skin. Her hands went to his shoulders, and she clutched desperately at his lean body as her own skin grew hotter, and hotter, with every touch.  
  
"Doctor," she gasped out, as a little voice in the back of her head reminded her that she hadn't seen him for years, and they should probably talk. Not to mention that the TARDIS was still parked in the Noble's living room, and the world might be ending. But the Doctor took it as an invitation, and his lips returned to hers again, sweetly claiming her with a kiss.   
  
He kissed her like she was his air, like having her in his arms was all he needed to survive. And it almost made Rose want to cry. There was a desperation in his actions, and Rose wanted to do whatever she had to in order to comfort him, but it seemed that all he wanted was her, so she gave herself willingly to him.  
  
She briefly pulled away, one hand on his cheek, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Doctor. Take us into the Vortex or something. We're still in the Noble's living room. Then...whatever you need, all right?"   
  
Rose could see his eyes focusing in on her, and awareness suddenly brightened in his gaze, which had been clouded with desire. "Right," the Doctor agreed. "Okay. Vortex first."   
  
His eyes darkened again and he hesitated, almost as if he was physically afraid to rip himself away from her, and Rose's heart clenched. He had missed her. The thought both warmed her and sent a chill down her spine. It had been painful for her to be away from him for so long, but a part of Rose had hoped that it would have been easier for him. No matter how much she liked knowing that she mattered to him, she hated the idea that her absence had caused him to suffer.   
  
Slowly, gently, she slid her hand from his face down his side, taking his hand firmly into her own. He looked from her eyes, down to their adjoined hands, and then back up to her, before nodding and walking beside her up the platform to the console. He was very deliberate with his free hand, carefully selecting the right knobs and levers, until the TARDIS shifted and slipped through time from 21st Century London, into the timeless Vortex.   
  
Once the TARDIS was still again, locked away from the rest of the universe, the Doctor turned to Rose, and smiled. He tugged her hand playfully, gesturing towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms.   
  
"So, where were we then?"   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
Later, the Doctor lay on his back, staring at the bedroom ceiling, his arms crossed behind his head, relishing in the feel of Rose's warm, naked body curled up against his side. She had been dozing for a while now, worn out, likely from a mixture of the universe-hopping and Dalek fighting, not to mention the rather draining exertions that he had just put her through.  
  
The Doctor smiled at the thought and relished in the memory of the way she had cried out while he made love to her, the tender way that she had kissed him when they were done, her hands and fingers all clenched through his hair as she brought her lips to his. It was fantastic. Everything that had happened that afternoon was like a dream come true. Only he wasn’t dreaming, because he had made it happen. After centuries of following the rules, he had finally taken his own power in his hands and reclaimed a precious gift that time had stolen from him years before. His heart was soaring. He felt like he could do absolutely anything at this moment.  
  
He had finally won.   
  
He pushed away all memories of deadly water, shots blasted out in the night, and mysterious messages from Ood, and shifted over to his side so that he could look at Rose's sleeping face. She seemed so peaceful, that he couldn't help reaching out and stroking her pale shoulder, marveling at how her skin could appear so cool in the dark light of the TARDIS, but be so warm to the touch.   
  
Her eyes burst open.  
  
"The Daleks!" She sat straight up in bed, staring at the Doctor in horror. "God, we're just lying here in bed, _sleeping_ , and the Daleks are out there destroying the Earth! What are we doing?"   
  
"The universe will be fine, Rose," he insisted, bringing his hand to her cheek to try to comfort her. "I know what I'm doing. I promise."   
  
"But what about Donna? Where is she? The universe needs you both, together. You said she's not here."   
  
"She's not. She's out there fighting."   
  
"And you're okay with that? Leaving her out there fighting, while we're here in the TARDIS in bed? That doesn't sound like you at all. What's happened to you?"   
  
He didn't respond at first. He felt himself growing increasingly angry and knew he needed to choose his words carefully. This wasn't just anybody fighting him on this. It was Rose. And Rose had always known how to challenge him, how to infuriate him, how to stand against him when he needed to be taught a lesson. It was one of the things that he had always loved so much about her. This was the woman who had sided with a Dalek over him when he had lost control and couldn't see clearly that it had changed. She was the girl who absorbed the power of the TARDIS just to save his life. And she was the girl who was willing to sacrifice her entire family, her life, just to stay with him forever.   
  
She would understand, though. She had to understand.  
  
"I've spent all of these years fighting to protect time, following the laws that were laid down by the elders of the Time Lords centuries ago. But then one day I just realized..."   
  
"Realized what?"   
  
"I realized something that I already knew: they're all dead. They're dead, and I'm the only one left. The last of the Time Lords. Which means that all their laws are mine now. Mine to determine and mine to enforce. Time itself entirely belongs to me."   
  
He could feel Rose tensing beside him. "So is this a game to you now? Are you playing with time, with no concern for the rest of the universe?"  
  
"I know what's right and what’s wrong. What points are fixed and what points are in flux. I know when I can change things and when I can't." Distantly, the Doctor realized that he was arguing a little too passionately. There was the sound of blast echoing through his mind reminding him that he didn’t always know best, but he pushed it away, forcing back the mistakes of his recent past. "So why can't I change things? Why can't I fix the things that shouldn't have gone wrong? Why is it terrible for me to have a little happiness in my life before I die?"   
  
"You can't pick and choose the good and bad things that happen to you, Doctor. You're not a God. You're the one who has said that again and again. So is that what this whole thing has been about? Let the universe end, but it doesn't matter, because you and I are tucked away safely in the time vortex? No. I won't stand for it, Doctor."   
  
Rose pushed away from him and rolled from the bed. She pulled a blanked with her and wrapped it around her body, closing herself off from him.   
  
"Get up," she ordered him. He was so baffled that he just sat there and stared at her for a moment. "I said, get up! I didn't cross universes for this! I've spent years fighting to get back to you, because I _loved_ you. As you were. This? I'm not so sure about. So, if you're so sure, Doctor, if you know for certain that the universe is taken care of? Prove it to me, and I'll believe you. Show me that the world has been saved, and I will forget that this ever happened and we can come back to where we are now."   
  
"Okay," the Doctor agreed stiffly, finally pushing himself from the bed and searching the floor for his trousers. "Go get dressed and meet me in the console room." She nodded curtly and left the room without a word.  
  
Quickly, the Doctor began to dress, his heart pounding with anger and frustration as he tried not to focus on the fact that Rose said loved. Loved, as in past tense. All of these years of loving her and missing her couldn't end like this. She would see that he was right. She had to understand.   
  
He would prove it to her. And everything would be fine.   
  
He had been more careful this time than the last time. And it had worked.   
  
Hadn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

Rose cautiously made her way into the console room to see the Doctor sitting on the jump seat, his legs kicked up on the console, as he waited for her. There was a dark expression on his face, and Rose shivered, wondering what was going on in his head that made him act so erratically. The Doctor she remembered wouldn’t have done what this man had done today.   
  
She thought about how desperately he had screamed as she had flown towards the Void on the day that she had lost him, and that after years of running from his past, he had taken the time to burn up a supernova, just to see her one last time. But he still had restraint then. He hadn’t been willing to chance the fate of the universe just to see her again. So what had happened to him since then that had made him so reckless?   
  
The moment she entered the room, the Doctor jumped to his feet, and immediately moved to take the TARDIS into flight. His actions were almost manic as he ran around the console, throwing levers with a violence that Rose wasn't used to seeing in him. The TARDIS seemed to sense the darkness that had taken hold of him, and whined sickly as she slid into motion. There was a violent shaking this time as the TARDIS took flight and exited the Vortex, and Rose fell into the coral pillar beside her, trying to grasp onto it for support as the TARDIS whirled its way through time and space. Soon the Doctor was slamming the hand break into place and turning to look darkly into Rose's direction.   
  
She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide the shiver that filled her as she looked into the inky blackness of the Doctor's angry eyes.  
  
"Check outside," he ordered her, gesturing towards the doors.   
  
Rose slowly crossed the console room, and opened the TARDIS door carefully. It swung open, revealing nothing but emptiness and stars.  
  
"We're in space," Rose told him simply.   
  
"WHAT?" The Doctor burst out, as he ran down the ramp to the doorway. "No, no, no, no, no....I set the coordinates for London!"   
  
"Well, we're not in London," Rose told him tightly. "We're nowhere."   
  
The Doctor peered around her, careful not to touch her, and took in the sight. "You're right," he admitted. "Earth has not been returned to its proper place in time and space."   
  
"And that's not all," Rose realized, as she looked outside and realized with horror that the blackness of space was actually getting darker. "The stars are going out, Doctor. You were wrong. It hasn't been taken care of. The universes are still ending."   
  
"OH, I am thick!" The Doctor shouted out. "Completely thick! Of course the universes are still ending. The metacrisis never happened, which is what I wanted, but because it never happened, HE never came into existence! And without him, Donna never figured out what she needed to do, and without Donna, and, well, with me locked down and helpless, Davros's plan moved forward, the reality bomb was set off, and BOOM!"   
  
"The universe ends?"   
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"But can we stop it?" Rose pressed.   
  
"Oh, just watch me!" The Doctor cried maniacally, as he threw the doors shut and ran back up the TARDIS ramp. "First, I just need to check on something. Make sure that things moved forward as I think they did. We need to ensure that the timeline is still as I remember it. Just a quick detour, back in time. Off we go!"   
  
Another lever slammed, and the TARDIS jerked its way back through the Vortex, into the Medusa Cascade, and exactly one second into the future, where a pull of a lever landed the TARDIS back onto earth. Once the Doctor had slammed the hand break into place, Rose carefully pried open the TARDIS door and peeked outside to see where they had landed.   
  
"We're in a church," Rose whispered.  
  
"Yup," the Doctor agreed cheerfully. "Right where I wanted to be. A perfect landing! Let's go!" He stepped out of the TARDIS doors and locked the door shut behind him before turning to Rose. "Quietly and carefully, though. We don't want to be seen."   
  
"Seen?" Rose asked. "Seen by who?"   
  
"Follow me," The Doctor ordered, as he led her through the pews and out the side door of the old church.   
  
The night was dark and cold, and Rose could see her breath, as they slid their way along the wall on the edge of the church. Rose still had no idea what was going on, but she followed the Doctor's lead, assuming that soon it would all become clear to her. A glimmer of understanding began to form in her mind as the sound of the TARDIS materializing suddenly filled the air.  
  
She watched as a few feet away, near the front of the church, the TARDIS appeared, and the doors opened to reveal the Doctor - her Doctor, the same Doctor standing next to her - stepping out into the cold night air, with Donna Noble following close behind.   
  
Rose looked up at the Doctor in horror, as she realized for the first time that this was not the Doctor she had believed him to be. He was from the future. The future after this very night. The Doctor had crossed his own timeline. By choice.   
  
This moment, the very second that they were living in, was now a weak place in time.   
  
Rose remembered another church, an old church, where she had spent hours barricaded with her father, her mother, and her own baby self, while Reapers clinically disinfected the world outside. The Doctor had nearly died that day, and it was all her fault. Her fault for doing something very similar to what they were doing in this exact moment.  
  
"We shouldn't be here," Rose hissed to the Doctor. "It's not safe."   
  
"Shhhh," he hushed her, and turned to watch.   
  
"Sarah Jane said they were taking the people...but what for?" The Doctor on the street mused. "Think, Donna! When you met Rose in that parallel world, what did she say?"   
  
"Just...the darkness was coming."   
  
"Anything else?"   
  
Donna seemed to think about the question for a moment. "No, nothing else. The darkness was coming, and the stars were going out. She didn't say why. Maybe she didn't know. I think she wanted us to stop it though. She said that it was more than just you, that somehow you and I had to be together to stop it. But why? I'm not important."   
  
"Yes you are," the Doctor standing beside Rose whispered softly. Rose turned to look at him, and was surprised to see sadness in his eyes.   
  
"You lost her," Rose whispered to him, understanding.   
  
"Of course I did. I lost her, just like I lose everybody. But never again. Shhh."   
  
The Doctor hushed her again, and they turned their attention back onto the scene at hand, only to see a Dalek rolling slowly into view.   
  
"IT IS THE DOCTOR...EXTERMINATE!" The Dalek screamed out.   
  
His blaster focused in on the Doctor, but before he could turn to shoot, there was a flash of light and Captain Jack Harkness popped into being, wielding a massive gun in his hand, which he quickly used to take out the lone Dalek.   
  
"Jaaaack!" the Doctor chastised.   
  
"Don't tell me not to shoot a Dalek, Doctor," Jack argued back. "That's all you can do with a Dalek. Kill it or it will kill you."   
  
He only raised an eyebrow at Jack, before turning back to Donna. "Come on you two. It’s not safe out here. Back to the TARDIS, and we'll figure out where we go from here."   
  
The three of them filed quickly into the TARDIS, and Rose began to stand to move on, wondering what the purpose of the trip was, but the Doctor hissed at her to get back down.  
  
"Not yet," he warned her. "Just wait."   
  
They watched silently in the dark as four more Daleks rolled into sight and surrounded the TARDIS.   
  
"TEMPORAL PRISON INITIATED!" one of the Daleks shouted out, and Rose watched in horror as a ring of light surrounded the TARDIS and quickly whipped it up into the sky.   
  
"Wait!" Rose cried out. "No!" But the Doctor covered her mouth with his hand to muffle the cry, the first time they had touched, skin to skin, since they had left his bedroom. It sent an electric surge down her spine.   
  
"Shhhhh!" he insisted. "This is what was meant to happen. I just needed to see, to ensure that things went the same in this timeline as they did in mine. This is a good thing. Now I know what needs to be done in order to save them and stop Davros. So I'm going to pull my hand away, and I need you to be silent until we're back inside the TARDIS. Can you do that?"   
  
Rose nodded, and the Doctor smiled. "Good." He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and pulled his hand away, noiselessly leading her back into the church and the TARDIS.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~   
  
"Are you MAD?" Rose shouted at him the moment the TARDIS had dematerialized. The Doctor tensed and prepared himself for the onslaught of her fury. "You're from the future! You've gone back in time, stolen me from my proper place in the timeline, and all for what? For a quick shag?"   
  
The Doctor physically recoiled at the venom in her voice. "No..." he tried to argue, but she cut him off.   
  
"You can't do that, Doctor! You can't mess with established events! You can’t go back on your own timeline! There are laws about these things! There are consequences! You're the one who taught me that!"   
  
"Well maybe I was wrong!" the Doctor shouted back at her. "The Time Lords are gone, Rose. There's just me! They decided on those laws, but they've never been tested! Maybe just this once I can do something dangerous. Isn't it worth it to break a few dusty old laws if it means that we can be together?"   
  
"It's not worth it if the universe ends."   
  
The Doctor fell silent, as her words began to penetrate. "It won't."   
  
"Not now," Rose agreed. "Because we can stop it. But it would have. The stars were still dying, Doctor. All because you took me away. What did you change?"   
  
"Just...the metacrisis."   
  
"What's a metacrisis?"   
  
The Doctor sighed, and tried to explain. "Before, in the original timeline, I almost died out there on that street. You found me there. Only, because you were there, I didn't see the Dalek until it was too late. Jack wasn't in time to save me, and the Dalek shot me. I should have died."   
  
"But you didn't?"   
  
"I caused the metacrisis instead. You were standing there in the TARDIS crying, begging me not to change." The Doctor hesitated before continuing, worried that he was about to say too much. But it was Rose. He wanted her to understand, and he was sick of being a slave to time, so he pressed on. "I wanted to take you into my arms, comfort you. I just wanted to hold you one more time in these arms. I missed you so much. So I used the regeneration energy to heal myself, and dispensed of it before it could change me fully."   
  
"You only regenerated halfway?” The Doctor nodded. “For me?"   
  
"I wanted to be with you," the Doctor admitted to her. "I was looking at you, standing there, and I didn't want to die. I still don't, for that matter. I was lucky though, because that time I happened to have some spare bits lying around.”  
  
“What?” Rose gaped, not understanding what he meant.  
  
“Remember my hand? Got cut off by the Sycorax on Christmas Day? Jack found it, and eventually returned it to me. That hand got me into a spot of trouble a while back. But because it was on the TARDIS, I was able to release my regeneration energy into the hand. Without that hand, I would have regenerated. But because of what I did, Donna was able to inadvertently use the regeneration energy to create a whole new me. A second Doctor, half-human, because I came from her. They were the ones that saved the universe."   
  
"So because I wasn't there on that street, the meta-thingy never happened, and the second you was never born, so Davros still won?"   
  
"Exactly. But we can stop it."   
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
The Doctor's head spun as he replayed the events of that day through his mind and tried to formulate a plan.  
  
"First, we have to save the TARDIS. Without the metacrisis, Donna won't be in the TARDIS and it will be destroyed. And if this TARDIS, the future TARDIS, disappears around us, well...then we've got a whole new problem."   
  
"So we have to get onto the Dalek ship?" Rose asked.   
  
"Eventually, yes. But first I'm going to do something clever!" He wiggled his eyebrows at her and turned back to the TARDIS console and began flipping switches. "It's going to be a bit dangerous, hope you don't mind." He looked up at her and grinned. "But I'll make sure you're safe. I promise. Just need to lower the shields, and time this just right!"   
  
The TARDIS hummed with worry as the Doctor cut the power to the shields. His own heart pounded a bit as he realized that he was about to materialize the TARDIS into the middle of the Dalek army without any protection, but he pushed his fear away and focused on the task at hand.   
  
His scanners tracked the TARDIS to its place on the deck of the Dalek Crucible. He watched, and waited, his fingers at the ready, until it started to move, quickly dropping through the levels of the Dalek Crucible towards its core. The moment it landed, buried in the Z-Neutrino energy core, the Doctor's fingers began to fly, locking his own TARDIS on the coordinates of the past TARDIS, and slamming the TARDIS into motion.   
  
"Hold on!" he shouted to Rose, as the TARDIS began to shake violently. The temperature rose almost instantly, and a grate popped up on the far side of the TARDIS as flames began to pour into the ship. There was a disorienting blurriness to the ship, as his TARDIS slipped into being alongside the past TARDIS, and they reformed around each other, together, sliding into one ship, one shared point in time and space.   
  
The Doctor watched with pride as the two consoles slid together into one, and he tried not to worry as coral panels burst from the heat, instead focusing on his fingers flying across the joint console controls as he negotiated the TARDIS out of the crucible core, and safely back into the Medusa Cascade.   
  
"What the hell did you just do?" Rose cried out, once the TARDIS was steady again.   
  
"Oh, I just lowered the shields of our TARDIS and bumped us right into the other TARDIS. Both of them, well, being the same TARDIS, actually joined with one another. Merged, so that right here, right now, the two of them will act as one. It would have been an easier process, but the past TARDIS was in the middle of being destroyed by the Daleks, burned alive in a core of Z-Neutrino energy. So, basically, we just saved her life, didn't we old girl?"   
  
He stroked the TARDIS happily, pleased that his theory had gone as planned and the TARDIS was safe, alive, and, well, so were he and Rose.  
  
He turned to Rose, who was watching him nervously, and he couldn't resist it for another moment. Rose was there. In the TARDIS. The metacrisis hadn't happened and Donna would be safe. The TARDIS was saved from its destruction. Everything was going according to plan, and he just needed to express his excitement.   
  
So he kissed her. Again. Rose was slower in responding this time, more hesitant. A voice in the back of his mind chided him, reminded him that he was acting unlike himself and probably scaring her half to death. But he loved Rose. He wanted to show her how much he loved her again and again.  
  
He pulled back from the kiss and cupped her face in his hand, looking her closely in the eye. "I made a mistake, Rose, and I'm sorry. You were right to be angry with me. You were right about everything, just like you always are. But we are going to fix this. I promise you. We will fix this and everything will be okay."   
  
Rose nodded. "Okay."   
  
"The hard part is over now. We're lucky going forward because we're stepping into roles that are unfilled in this timeline. In my timeline, Donna and the other Doctor appeared to save the world while you and I were trapped by Davros. Now, they're trapped and we get to save the day. And since I've already experienced it once, I know exactly what we need to do."


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor had never felt so helpless in his life.   
  
He was trapped on the Dalek Crucible, with Donna beside him, but she was out of reach thanks to the separate energy fields surrounding them both. The only weapon at his disposal was his voice, and this time, talking his way out of the situation didn't seem to be working. It wasn’t all that surprising, really. Daleks didn’t usually have a habit of listening to him when he talked at them. Usually his companions listened though, but this time they seemed determined to take matters into their own hands, and it was wrong. All of it was so wrong.  
  
He stood there, trapped, watching in complete and utter horror, as his friends made impossible threats. On one video screen, Jack held a warp star, while Sarah Jane, Mickey Smith, and Jackie Tyler looked on.   
  
Jackie Tyler, but no Rose Tyler. Still, Rose was nowhere to be found.   
  
Detonating the tiny crystal in Jack’s hand would destroy the Daleks, the Crucible, and all of their lives in one single instant. As if Jack’s warp star wasn’t bad enough, another screen popped up revealing Martha Jones, holding the key to the destruction of Earth in her hand. Jack was willing to kill them all, while Martha offered to wipe Earth from the face of reality as if it never existed.   
  
The Doctor could do nothing but plead for them to stop. He begged, terrified that they would make the wrong choice, until Davros took the decision away from them all.   
  
The Doctor wasn't sure what broke his heart more. The fact that his friends made the threats, that they didn’t realize that they were wrong on their own, or that deep inside he knew that none of them would have ever done this if they hadn’t met him. He made them like this. And even as he tried to come to terms with that revelation, Davros threw it out in the open, calling the Doctor out on his own mistakes.   
  
"The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun. But this is the truth, Doctor: you take ordinary people and you fashion THEM into weapons. Behold your Children of Time transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor. You made this."  
  
"They're trying to help," the Doctor tried to argue back, but his voice sounded weak even to his own ears. He wanted to fight for them, but their actions were breaking his heart. He couldn't bear it.  
  
Davros dug the hole inside of him even deeper, as he revealed that Harriet Jones had died in the fight. Another innocent life was lost because of him. One after another. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he fought, they all just kept dying. And it wasn't just Harriet. She was the latest, but there were so many more. Everywhere he went, death followed him, and people died one by one, because of him.  
  
The Doctor wanted to scream. He wanted to cry out and push the images of the dead out of his head. He wanted to forget, to drive the pain away. But he also wanted to remember them forever. He never wanted to forget the ways that each of them had all saved him.   
  
But instead he just stood there, silently watching as Davros cackled at him, and his soul burst into a million pieces of mournful regret, shame, pain, and loneliness.  
  
Still, through it all, he found himself wondering, as he thought about sacrifice and loss. He remembered the people who had changed their lives for him, and the people who he had loved. There were unexpected people like Harriet Jones who would fight for him in an instant, and die for him. As the images of them all went rushing through his mind, he couldn’t help wondering -- where was Rose?  
  
Distantly he realized that Donna was shouting beside him. Fiery as always, she was arguing with Davros, fighting for his honor. But the Doctor was lost in the memories of all those that he had lost.   
  
The buzz of a transmat shook him back into the present. With a rush of noise everyone was suddenly there in the room with him. Davros had transported them all to the Crucible deck, bringing them together. Suddenly Martha was there, in the same room with Jackie and Mickey. Sarah Jane and Jack were standing beside each other. All of his companions were together for the first time.   
  
All of them, except for Rose.  
  
"Where is she?" he asked Jackie forcefully. "Where's Rose?"  
  
"We thought she was with you!" Mickey insisted.  
  
"She's not here?" Jackie cried out. "Where is she, Doctor? Where's my little girl?"  
  
"I don't know," the Doctor insisted, as a sick feeling began to fill his gut. Rose was out there, somewhere. But where was she?  
  
"The final prophesy is in place," Davros cackled gleefully. "The Doctor and his children all gathered as witnesses. Supreme Dalek, the time has come! Now...detonate the Reality Bomb!"  
  
The Doctor tried desperately to plead with Davros, to stop him with his words, the last remaining weapon he had left, but it was useless. Davros was insane. Destruction was his only focus, and there was nothing the Doctor could do. He stood there, completely powerless, as the countdown began and the universe came closer and closer to destruction.  
  
The Doctor’s hearts almost stopped beating in his chest, when suddenly a familiar wheezing noise filled the air around him. He was shocked and confused, as the TARDIS materialized on the far edge of the room before them. The others in the room all gasped out words of impossibility, brilliance, but the Doctor just worried about what could possibly be happening. It was their final hope, but something felt wrong about this moment. The timelines in his mind were tainted somehow.   
  
The TARDIS doors opened, and the Doctor’s jaw dropped at the sight of himself casually **wandering out. But before he could even begin to comprehend the appearance of himself here -- a different him, likely from another timeline, the Doctor’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of the figure stepping out of the TARDIS behind him.**  
  
 **"Rose," he whispered in amazement.**   
  
Suddenly he could see nothing else but her. She was older than when he had last seen her. She carried herself with more self-assurance. And she looked completely beautiful. All he wanted to do was take her into his arms and thank time and the universe for bringing her back, but he was still trapped in his containment field. He felt more imprisoned in that moment than even when his other companions had threatened to destroy them all.  
  
Her eyes found his, and they stayed there, watching him. She smiled. He grinned. But then, before another word could be spoken, the other Doctor interrupted their moment.  
  
"Sorry for just popping in like this. Shouldn't be here, I suppose, but that's the thing about time. When you mess with it, sometimes you have to go back in and clean up your own messes. My fault, really. Should have been a little more careful."  
  
"IT IS THE DOCTOR. EXTERMINATE!"  
  
The Daleks fired at him, but their weapons fell short, fading lifelessly just in front of where the Doctor and Rose stood.  
  
"Well, now. No point in _that_ , really. I've still got extrapolator shielding in the TARDIS. And now, well, with more than one TARDIS merged together, it’s got double the power. There’s a nice, strong force field around us over here, keeping your weapons out. And interestingly enough, keeping this computer panel right here inside the shield, where I’m protected."  
  
The Doctor moved to the equipment in front of him and started pounding keys.  
  
"Just what I need in order to stop you! Y'see, that's the thing about time. I may have meddled with it, changing the outcome of this day's events, but I still experienced it the first time around. I can remember every brilliant thing that Donna Noble did to save the universe. For instance closing all Z-Neutrino relay loops using an internalized synchronous back-feed reversal loop to disable the Realty Bomb."  
  
"SYSTEM IN SHUTDOWN! DETINATION NEGATIVE!" A Dalek shrieked.  
  
"I did that?" Donna cried out from her containment shield. "But how? I don't even know how to change a plug!"  
  
"Ah, well, I'm afraid that's the thing I stopped from happening, Donna. You took on a Time Lord consciousness, well, my consciousness really. Only mixed with your brilliant human brain it added just the right amount of creativity that you were able to think of things that I never would have been able to imagine. For instance...the macrotransmission of a K-filter wavelength blocking Dalek weaponry in a self-replicating energy blindfold matrix."  
  
All of the Daleks' weapons suddenly dropped as the distinct sound of a power drain filled the air.   
  
"WEAPONS NON-FUNCTIONAL!"  
  
"The Doctor-Donna, just like the Ood said. Only thing is that it would have killed you. But I stopped it from happening, which means that you get to live, Donna. You get to keep traveling, in the TARDIS with him, just like you wanted. My gift from the future to you."  
  
Understanding began to creep into the Doctor's mind as he listened to his future self explain what he had done. This was wrong. This was very, very wrong. It was against all of the laws of time. Something had to have happened in the future. Something that had changed him, and made him willing to deny everything he had ever known to selfishly change the fates of the people around him.  
  
"What's happened to you? You've grown reckless," he exclaimed, as the other Doctor continued to punch buttons and the containment fields around them dissipated, freeing them from their Dalek prisons. "This is wrong. You can't just change things. Not like this."  
  
"Why?" the Doctor argued back. "Why can't we? There's no one else. No one to stop us. You'll understand, one day. I'm you, after all. What's the point in all of this unnecessary loss? Time just keeps ripping them away from us, again and again. But I can change things. I can. Just watch me!"  
  
"You're not a god," he reminded his future self, as the other Doctor’s words sent a chill down his spine. "There are consequences to your actions."  
  
The future Doctor just eyed him darkly, as he reached into his pocket and whipped out his sonic screwdriver. In a fluid motion, he pointed it back towards the TARDIS and activated it, lowering the extrapolator shield.  
  
"Just help me send these planets back to where they belong," he ordered, as the Doctor rushed across the room and took his position across the computer console from his counterpart. "And you lot, keep those Daleks away from us. They're harmless, for now. Just...stay away from the plungers, will you?" The future Doctor turned back to the computer. "We have to work quickly. Last time there were three of us."  
  
Mirrored hands flew across the keys sending planet after planet back home. Jack and Mickey detained Davros, while Martha, Sarah Jane, Rose, and Jackie pushed the Daleks out of their way. Daleks were crying out in frustration, and Davros was cursing at them, but the Doctor ignored it all as he focused himself entirely on the task at hand.   
  
Soon, the Lost Moon of Poosh was lost no longer. The Adiposian Royal Family had their breeding planet back. Pyrovillia returned to where it belonged in time and space. One by one, each of the planets were being sent home, until the Supreme Dalek appeared, disrupting their activities with a disastrous shot to the computer's mainframe.   
  
The Doctor surveyed the damage wildly, trying to determine if it was repairable, while Jack destroyed the Supreme Dalek with a single shot, but the damage was too great. He looked up at his future self in horror, and was surprised to see him standing there, casually watching him with his hands thrust into his pockets.  
  
"Well done, Doctor," his future self said happily. "We managed to do the work of three in just the nick of time."  
  
"What are you talking about?" he burst out angrily. "We didn't finish! The Earth is still trapped in the Medusa Cascade! Twenty-six planets are back in place, but one is still stranded!"  
  
"Yup!" the Doctor grinned. "Just like last time! So what do you think we should do about it, Doctor?"  
  
"Oh!" he cried out as he surveyed the room and quickly put the pieces together. "We can use the TARDIS! And the rift! Create a tow-rope and..."  
  
"Exactly!" his future self cut him off. "Now get everyone into the TARDIS and get started. I have one more thing I need to do."  
  
The Doctor agreed, quickly rushing into the TARDIS, where he began flipping switches on the console. He rushed back down to the door and yelled to his companions outside, "Come on!"  
  
One by one, they began to rush past him into the TARDIS: Jackie, Mickey, Sarah Jane, Martha, Jack...but before Donna and Rose had made it to him, there was suddenly a back-wave of energy, as the Dalekanium began to explode around them. The Daleks burst into flame and the ship began to burn around them. The Doctor looked at his future self in horror.  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"What had to be done," the future Doctor argued back.   
  
The Doctor just stared at him as Donna raced past him. "What happened to you? You didn’t even give them a choice!”  
  
"Can't you guess?" the Future Doctor shot back. "You're already on the verge of this, Doctor. Every time another companion leaves, whenever another person sacrifices themselves for you. They die, Doctor. They always die. And I'm next! So if it's my turn, if time is going to take me, then at least I'm going to go down fighting for the things that I want!"  
  
The future Doctor's words left him feeling cold and scared, worried about what he was doomed to become, until a warm hand slipped into his, and a loving voice snapped him back to reality.  
  
"Doctor...we have to go."   
  
Rose's voice comforted him, and hope filled him. Rose was here, and maybe, just maybe, he had been given this premonition of the future for a reason. Maybe he could stop himself from becoming the man before him. He tried to take the thought as a consolation, and turned to join the others in the TARDIS.  
  
Before he could leave the Crucible, though, his own voice called out after him one more time.  
  
"Isn't she worth fighting for?"  
  
He turned to examine Rose, whose thumb rubbed the back of his hand comfortingly, and he swallowed nervously. "Come on," she urged him, pulling him through the TARDIS doors. The Future Doctor raced from behind the Crucible computer to join them, the two Doctors running up the ramp.  
  
The TARDIS dematerialized just seconds before the Crucible exploded into a ball of flame and rubble.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose was amazed to see the evidence all around her of how much the Doctor's life had changed since the day she met him. Together, they stood around the TARDIS console, a circle of smiling faces, working together as a team to fly planet Earth home. The universe had been saved, and now they were headed home, joyful after a stunning victory over the Daleks.  
  
She knew things weren't entirely perfect yet, though. There were still two Doctors, and the TARDIS was still merged with its own future self, even though they seemed as one. There was a bit of tension between the Doctors, who stayed carefully placed on opposite sides of the console to avoid touching one another. It would cause a paradox, Rose remembered, so she didn’t question it.   
  
Martha Jones was laughing with Mickey Smith on one side of the console. Jack was talking up Sarah Jane nearby, while Donna tried to push in and talk up Jack. Her mum was standing carefully out of the way, watching it all with a smile on her face, but when Rose's eyes found Jackie’s, her expression saddened. Rose nodded a silent confirmation of what Jackie was wondering, and in that instant they both understood that Rose would not be returning to the parallel universe with her mum.  
  
The Earth slid back into its proper place in space, and they clapped gleefully, as one of the Doctors hit the coordinates for London. When the TARDIS landed, the Doctor stepped out, with Jack, Martha, and Sarah Jane following behind him. Rose was shocked when Mickey hugged her mum goodbye, and nodded to Rose, before following them out into the sunlight. She watched him go sadly, wondering if he would ever find a place where he belonged.   
  
"You've been on your own."  
  
Rose’s attention was drawn to a nearby voice, and she turned to see Donna approaching the future Doctor. He was idly fiddling with the TARDIS console while they waited for the other Doctor to return from outside.   
  
"What makes you think that?" he replied. "Plenty of friends, me! Look at this lot. Coming together to save the world."  
  
"I can tell, Doctor. You wouldn't be here otherwise. Not if you had someone to stop you from changing things. How long has it been?" Donna's question was firm, and the Doctor looked like he wanted nothing more than to dodge it, but surrendered the fight and admitted the truth.  
  
"A while," he said. "What happened to you...it broke my heart. I couldn't bring myself to try again. There was this one girl, Christina. She wanted to come with me, but I couldn't. I just couldn't."  
  
"What happened to me?" Donna asked him. "Did I die?"  
  
"Oh no. I wouldn't allow that to happen. But the Time Lord consciousness was too much for your brain to handle. It was killing you. Quickly. I only had one choice to keep you alive."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I took the Time Lord consciousness from you, and with it all of your memories of me. I erased myself from your existence and sent you home."  
  
Donna exploded almost instantly. "You did WHAT?"   
  
The Future Doctor immediately started rubbing his neck and pulling on his ear awkwardly, while Donna's face grew redder and redder with anger. "Well, I...uh...but..."  
  
"You. Erased. My. Memory." Donna slapped him hard, across the face, so quickly and suddenly that Rose had to restrain herself from exploding with laughter.  
  
"OW! But I had to! You would have died otherwise! Your life was more important than being with me!"  
  
"My life is traveling with you, you dumbo! I don't want to go back to temping in Chiswick! Who wants a dull little life like that!"  
  
"Well you don't have to now!" the Doctor insisted! "I fixed it, you're fine!"  
  
"Yeah, because you went mental in the future and decided to change the course of history! Are you daft or something? I told you not to travel alone. You NEED someone, Doctor! This is what happens when you're on your own!"  
  
"Well, I did something about it, didn't I? You and Rose are both here now. Nothing to worry about anymore!"  
  
"What happened to me?" Rose interrupted and asked.  
  
The Doctor turned to her, and suddenly looked very sheepish. He was tugging on his ear, as he turned his attention to Rose.   
  
"I mean, I'm clearly not with you either. And you want me enough that you intercepted me before I could find him. And, well..." Rose stumbled over her words, blushing as she remembered how he had greeted her earlier. "There was, um, everything that happened then." She quickly forced herself to recover from her embarrassment, and looked him firmly in the eye. "But you've never said what happened to me."  
  
"I sent you away too," the Doctor admitted. "Because I was an idiot. I didn't let you choose. I sent you back to your parallel universe with the second me, the one who was created in the metacrisis. Because I was scared of what would happen between us if you stayed. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life...and I've done a lot of stupid things."  
  
"You can say that again," Donna shot back at him.  
  
"You sent me home," Rose repeated, trying to understand what that meant. Years of trying to get back to him, and the Doctor just abandoned her? By choice?  
  
"It was the biggest mistake of my life, Rose."  
  
Before she could respond again, the TARDIS doors reopened, and the Doctor walked back inside alone. He wandered slowly up the ramp, his eyes taking note of those that remained within.   
  
"Okay then!" the future Doctor exclaimed, turning back to the console. "Before we move on, Donna, I promised your family that you'd be home soon. I suppose you'd be our next stop then?"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere!" Donna insisted. "Not until the two of you are all sorted out. Someone has to keep an eye on you. And after meeting you," she insisted, pointing at the future Doctor, "I'm certainly not leaving him alone at this point in time."  
  
The future Doctor grew suddenly silent, and Rose looked over to him and was shocked to see that his hand, where it rested on the console, began to fade, becoming translucent for a moment, before firming up again. The Doctor looked at his hand in horror, stepping back silently from the console as he flexed his joints, seemingly to ensure that they all still worked.   
  
Meanwhile, the present Doctor stepped into his spot at the TARDIS helm. He turned to look at Jackie, and began to maneuver the TARDIS into flight.  
  
"Next trip, then," he announced. "Darlig Ulv Stranden."  
  
And in that instant, Rose's heart dropped.  
  
He didn't look at her as he piloted the TARDIS, and Rose's mind was screaming in denial. This was it. It was happening all over again. He was taking her back. Just like the future Doctor had said that he had done before. Only this time there wasn't a spare Doctor to stick her with. Two Doctors stood before her, but both were needed for this universe. One for the present, and one for the future. He was going to leave her alone this time, and the mere thought of it caused panic to rise in her chest.  
  
Could she go with the future Doctor if the present one wouldn't take her? Would she be able to trust him, after all he had already done to change time and the universe itself? She loved them both, but there was a darkness in the future Doctor that she had never seen in him before. Maybe it was the fact that he was a loose cannon. Already today she had experienced him kissing and making love to her. She had come to terms with the fact that he had changed the course of history. And she had watched as he destroyed an entire species without a second thought. Power radiated from him in a way that she wasn't accustomed to. And she wasn't sure she saw him quite the same way as she saw the present Doctor: as a man that she had loved and lost and could potentially love again. He scared her, a bit.  
  
And then there was the weird thing with his hand. It had faded for a moment. What was that about? Was time pulling him out of the TARDIS and back to where he belonged? Would going with him even be a choice if the present Doctor decided to reject her? What if the Future Doctor ended up not even being there to give Rose the choice of going with him? Rose had no idea what to do.  
  
The TARDIS landed, and the future Doctor led the group out onto the beach. The same familiar, horrible beach, where she had stood only once before, on the worst day of her life. That day she had lost the Doctor for what she thought would be forever. Just seeing the beautiful stretch of sand before her made tears well up in her eyes, as she remembered the devastating, gut wrenching anguish that she had felt on her last trip here.   
  
And she couldn’t help fearing that she was about to experience the same feelings again.  
  
"Fat lot of good this is," her mum cried out. "Back of beyond! Bloody Norway!" She turned to Rose. "I'll have to phone your father, he's on the nursery run." She turned to the future Doctor by mistake, but she continued speaking before Rose could remind her which Doctor she was addressing. "I was pregnant, remember? I had a baby boy."  
  
"Tony Tyler!" the future Doctor exclaimed. "Yes, indeed."  
  
"You're back home," the present Doctor explained to Jackie. "And the walls of reality are beginning close. We don't have much time."  
  
"I'm not going back," Rose told him quietly and firmly. "I've spent years trying to get back to you, Doctor. It's what I want. My mum understands that."  
  
"Well, yes. There is that. And while we're on the subject, you haven't even said a proper hello to me yet, Rose Tyler! He doesn't count," the Doctor reminded her, eyeing his future self wearily. Rose followed the Doctor's gaze over to his future self, and blushed, when she remembered what her hello to him had consisted of. His gaze was hot and weighed so heavily on her conscience that she quickly turned her back on him, refocusing her attention on the present Doctor. Slowly, she took a step towards him, and he smiled nervously at her. "I've missed you," he admitted.  
  
"I've missed you too." She threw herself into his arms, where he caught her in a hug. The Doctor squeezed her tightly, like he never wanted to let her go again. Rose nuzzled his shoulder, and finding herself caught up in the moment, kissed it.   
  
"Hello," she greeted him softly, as she pulled back and grinned at him.  
  
"Hi," he replied with a gentle smile.   
  
The TARDIS hummed nervously, breaking them from the spell of their reunion, and the Doctor shuffled his feet nervously, eyeing everyone standing on the beach.   
  
"Before the walls are sealed again, I suppose, you lot have a decision to make. You can stay, here, in this parallel universe. Or you can come back with me. Your choice."  
  
"Rose already said that she's staying," the future Doctor interrupted. "And you owe her that chance."  
  
"Right," the Doctor agreed. "And then there's you. A future version of me, who disregarded the laws of time and changed the course of the future. What will we do with you?"  
  
"I've done what I came here to do," the future Doctor insisted, and Rose noted his hand, clenching at his side again, like it was on the TARDIS earlier. "We'll split the TARDISes again and I'll go on my way. Onwards and upwards."  
  
"Alone?"  
  
Donna's voice pulled the two Doctors out of their discussion, and they turned to look at her in surprise.  
  
"If that's the way things are meant to turn out, then yes," the future Doctor affirmed. "Alone. But I'm a man who knows when he's made a mistake, and I'm not about to make the same mistake twice." Rose's heart pounded in her chest as suddenly he turned all of his attention on her. "Rose...will you come with me?"  
  
Rose felt a chill down her spine, as she contemplated what he was asking her, and what her response not only would be, but what it had to be. Never in her life did she ever think that she would deny the Doctor anything, but now, she stood on the beach, looking at two different Doctors. Both of them were Doctors who equally wanted her to stay with them, but she knew, without a doubt, that there was only one that she could choose.  
  
"No," Rose told the future Doctor, sadly, but firmly. "No, I'm staying with him. I spent all that time trying to get back to him, and you took me away from him before I could even see him again. I've barely just said hello to him, and I'm not ready to walk away from him yet."  
  
"But I am him," he insisted back to her. "We're the same man."  
  
"Maybe," Rose admitted. "But maybe not. The things I've seen you do today. Even the things you did before I met you today...those aren't things that the Doctor I love would do. If I can stay with him, just for a while, to ensure that he has someone so that he doesn't become you...I have to do that, Doctor. I have to give him a chance to get his life back in order. I'm sorry, but I'm staying with him."  
  
The TARDIS hummed forcefully, drawing everyone’s attention back around to the blue box. Rose gaped at the sight of the TARDIS suddenly shimmering away, only to solidify again back into place.  
  
"What in the hell was that?" Donna cried out.   
  
"My TARDIS. It's gone." The Doctor's voice was filled with fear. Rose was horrified to see that the future Doctor had fallen to his knees, his voice weakening, as his entire body began to fade in and out of space, just as the TARDIS had. "No!" he cried out. "No, I'm not ready!"  
  
"Doctor?" Rose asked, her voice wavering with fear as she watched him crouch over in pain. "What's happening?"  
  
"He's fading away."   
  
It was the present Doctor who had raised his own voice in response, and Rose turned to him for more answers. "What do you mean?"  
  
"Not yet!" the future Doctor raged, as he shoved his wavering hands into the sand, clutching at the granules as if he were trying to cling to the Earth for dear life.  
  
“He knows what’s happening to him. That’s why he’s raging against the dying light. Didn’t you see his hand earlier, on the TARDIS? That’s when the process started. It’s just taken this long to come to completion.”  
  
“What _process_?” Rose spit out her words in frustration, trying desperately to block out the sound of the other Doctor’s screams from her ears. “Just this once can’t you explain things clearly?”   
  
"He's ceasing to exist," the Doctor explained. "Time is in flux around him. You and Donna have both decided to stay with me. Which means that whatever happened to him that made him break the laws of time apparently won’t occur with you two around.”  
  
“Because you need someone to stop you,” Donna observed  
  
“Exactly,” the Doctor agreed. “You both have always known how to keep me in line. But as for him, by trying to take hold of the things that he wanted the most in life, namely, the two of you, he has ensured that I never become him. Essentially, he has unmade himself."  
  
Rose fell to her knees beside him, desperately trying to grasp his hand, to stay with him through his dying moments, but her own hand passed right through his helplessly. "I'm sorry," she whispered to him, as tears began to slip down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to die."  
  
The Doctor reached up, trying desperately to touch her face one last time, and for the glimmer of an instant Rose thought she felt a light caress on her cheek. But the feeling was gone almost as quickly as it began, as his hand disappeared out of existence.  
  
"I just wanted to be with you," he tried to explain, as his entire body became translucent, barely holding onto his last grasp on reality. His voice wavered in and out like a telephone losing reception as he looked her in the eye for the last time. "I love you, Rose Tyler. Should have said it years ago."  
  
And then, the future Doctor faded completely away, ceasing to exist, forever.  
  
Rose sat there in shock, crouched on her knees in the sand, staring at the hole in the universe where moments before the Doctor had been - where now, there was just emptiness. The Doctor had died. The Doctor, who hours before had kissed her, made love to her, and treated her like she was the most precious thing in the universe, was gone. He had been completely erased from time and space.  
  
Tears slid down her cheeks as she stared at the depressions in the sand where his hands had dug into the Earth, the last remaining sign that he had been on the beach with them. She felt arms wrapping around her. Her mother's arms, she realized, as Jackie Tyler whispered soothing words into her ear and told her that it'd be okay.  
  
"He's not gone, Rose," her mother whispered comfortingly in her ear. "He's still here. The Doctor is standing right there, waiting for you."  
  
Her mother's words shook her back into reality, as Rose looked up and saw the Doctor still standing there on the beach, watching her with a pained expression on his face. Rose was sure he didn't quite know what to say or do, so with a guiding hand from her mother, she pushed herself to her feet and crossed the space between them.  
  
"I'm sorry," the Doctor insisted. "Maybe if you had known, you could have saved him too."  
  
Rose's eyes narrowed as she studied the Doctor standing before her and realized that he thought she regretted her decision. The future Doctor's pleas for life were still echoing in her ears, but he was trying so hard to look solid and strong while his eyes screamed out to her, begging her to stay with him. The look in his eyes proved to Rose that she had made the right choice.  
  
"You're the one who needs saving, Doctor," she informed him. And before he could react, she reached up, and pulled his face down to meet hers in a kiss. The Doctor froze, startled, as if he didn't quite know what was happening or how to react. But then Rose slid her hands around his neck, pulling her body flush against his, and he began to relax, and react, slowly returning each caress of her lips. He allowed her tongue entrance without a fight, and she almost gasped as she tasted him again. He seemed to be pouring all of his loneliness, and longing, and his desperate need for her into every act of their embrace.   
  
The TARDIS hummed insistently, startling them out of the moment. Rose pulled back, and the Doctor looked down at her through heavy-lidded eyes. "We have to go now," he told her through swollen lips, and Rose nodded, pulling away from him and turning back to her mother to say goodbye.  
  
Jackie hugged her firmly, and pressed a loving kiss to her hair. "Be safe," her mother told her. "Love him the way he deserves to be loved. Challenge him when he's being a right daft fool. And make sure he always, always treats you right."  
  
"I will," Rose promised.  
  
"I'll miss you," Jackie swore. "And I'll always love you."  
  
"Goodbye mum."  
  
"Goodbye sweetheart."  
  
Rose wrenched herself away from her past, and ran to the TARDIS doors, where the Doctor and Donna had disappeared moments before. She stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind her. As the TARDIS dematerialized, she imagined her mother standing alone on a wide, empty Norwegian beach, watching as Rose flew away from home.   
  
Forever.


	5. Chapter 5

Once they were safely back in the proper universe, at Rose's request, the Doctor materialized the TARDIS on the street in front of the Noble family home, and left Donna to visit with her mother and grandfather.  
  
"The other Doctor promised them that you'd bring her home after all of this was over," Rose explained to him.   
  
Her expression was serious, probing, and the Doctor found himself swallowing nervously. Rose was being subtle, but she was also telling him very clearly that there was more to her request than just giving Donna some family time. Rose wanted to get him alone for a while. The mere thought of being alone with her both sent both a tremor of fear down his spine, and a shiver of excitement through him. His lips still tingled with the memory of her kiss, and he had no idea what was going to happen next between them.  
  
The Doctor pulled the hand break into place, and gave Donna a hug, before she hurried down the ramp and out the doors to see her family.  
  
He and Rose were completely alone.  
  
He was cautious and unsure how to proceed. She was standing a few feet away from him, watching him with an intense expression, her arms wrapped around herself for warmth. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something, so he opened his mouth, and the first words that came to his mind just flew out, uncensored.  
  
"You kissed me."  
  
Rose opened and closed her mouth, gaping at him wordlessly for a long moment, before finally replying, "Yes, I did."  
  
"And back there, on that beach...the first time we were there. You told me that you loved me."  
  
"Yes, I do," Rose acknowledged. They fell silent, the awkwardness between them growing thicker with each passing moment. The Doctor was soaring from her admission, but his mind was also screaming in fear all at once. Rose's eyes were pleading with him for a response, and he had no idea what to say to her.  
  
How could he possibly put it into words? He had been miserable without her. Her presence was as vital to him as the breath in his lungs. He knew he had been a mess without her these past few years, and he'd do absolutely anything to keep her at his side forever, even though he knew that it was impossible. And that knowledge, the understanding that eventually he would lose her again, was so devastating it felt like a physical ache when he admitted it. How in the world could he explain to her in words the sheer extent of all of these things that he felt when he looked at her?  
  
Rose seemed to take his silence as avoidance, because she soon continued to speak. "The thing is, Doctor...I spent some time with that future version of you."  
  
"I know. Because he kidnapped you," he burst out, unable to contain his frustration. It sent anger boiling through him to think that all of that time, while he had been watching for her and waiting for her, she was, in fact, with the other him.   
  
"I went with him willingly," Rose corrected him. "Because I thought he was you. I'd been in that parallel universe for years fighting to get back to you. I finally made it back to this universe, and I was looking for you everywhere. And right when I thought I finally had the ability to find you, he showed up in the TARDIS looking for me. Of course I went with him. There was no reason to question him. Until he started acting...erratically."  
  
Rose suddenly turned bright red, and the Doctor stared at her curiously, wondering, with irritation, what his future self had done that was so erratic that the mere memory of it had made her blush. Rose quickly moved on, clearly not wanting to linger on that statement, which once again piqued the Doctor's curiosity. As she continued to speak, though, her words drew his attention away from his future self, and back to Rose herself.  
  
"I spent more time with him than any of the rest of you, and I learned some things while watching him. I saw what you could become if you're left on your own. I know how much you really do need someone else with you. You need someone to love you...and someone that you can love in return. I'm here for you, Doctor, and I'm not going anywhere. Don't push me away just because you're afraid of these feelings."  
  
"I love you."  
  
"What!?!" Rose was clearly blindsided by his words, and he couldn't help grinning at the gob-smacked look on her face.   
  
"I said, I love you," he repeated, slowly beginning to take careful steps closer to her. "I love you, Rose Tyler," he said again, smiling, as the distance between them closed so that he could reach out and touch the side of her face. "And I don't want you to leave me. Not now, not ever."  
  
"Okay!" Rose agreed with a grin. Her eyes were hazy, happiness blurring them, as he leaned in closer to her.   
  
"Good," he murmured. "Now if we've got that settled..." he cut himself off by leaning in and capturing her lips with his own. There was no hesitation in her response, as she slid into his embrace, kissing him back languidly, but passionately, with every bit of love that she had expressed. It was positively brilliant, and the Doctor found himself wondering why they hadn't done this years earlier.   
  
Rose suddenly pulled back, startling him. "What was that for?" he cried out, as she physically stepped out of his reach to compose herself.  
  
"What changed?" she asked him, turning back around to face him with a firm, serious look on her face.  
  
"What?" he gaped.  
  
"The other Doctor, he told me that in his timeline, he...you, that is...left me on that beach with my mum. I don't think he ever told me that he loved me, not until the moment he died. So what's different? Why are you so willing to do this now?"  
  
The Doctor had to admit, it was a valid question. Even now, he was terrified of what was happening between them, and he could easily see how the fear could have paralyzed him back on the beach. It had stopped the other Doctor from moving forward, and it would have been easy, so very, very easy, for him to have done the same. It was in his nature to never admit that he needed her, pretending that everything was okay while traveling the universe all on his own. But now he knew that it was the wrong choice, so he explained that to her.  
  
"I saw him too, Rose. You may have had all that time alone with him, but I _am_ him. I could see myself in him. I could see what I could become if I'm all alone. I don't want to be like him, Rose. I don't want to be so lonely and so angry at the universe, that I'm willing to reject all of my values, just to feel a moment of happiness again. No. I don't want to become him. I want to do things right the first time."  
  
"Good." Rose affirmed with a smile.  
  
"And I do love you, so why deny it? I was a mess without you, Rose Tyler. So if you're back, then I want to make the most of my time with you."  
  
Rose closed the space between them and kissed him again. He caught her as she embraced him, encircling her with his arms slung low on her back as he pulled her flush to him, pouring every ounce of love and appreciation that he was feeling into the moment. He kissed her with pure abandon, relishing in the fact that she was here, and this was really happening, until suddenly he realized that kissing her wasn't enough. He wanted so much more from her than just her lips. He wanted to show her how much he loved her in the most intimate way imaginable. He pulled his lips away from hers, kissing her on the neck, before whispering in her ear.  
  
"We have some time.”  
  
Rose pulled back and looked up at him in surprise, with what seemed like a hint of fear in her eyes. The fear surprised him, so he stepped away and rubbed his neck awkwardly.  
  
"If you want, that is. If you don't it's fine. I mean, we have all the time in the world. You're not going anywhere. I don't think. Unless you want me to take you somewhere. Maybe I shouldn't have assumed, but..."  
  
"Doctor." Rose cut him off mid-ramble, and he shook himself out of it, refocusing on her. "Trust me, I want to."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I just...I should be honest with you. And I don't want to hurt you or upset you, especially not now. Things are going so well."  
  
"Tell me," the Doctor urged her, wondering what could possibly be upsetting her so much.  
  
"It's just...the other Doctor. I told you he was acting erratically."  
  
"Right," the Doctor remembered, tugging on his ear as understanding began to creep into his mind. "Oh. You and he..."  
  
"He was very...forward. I didn't know yet... I didn't understand."  
  
"He was me, after all," the Doctor filled in for her, as he tried to push down the jealousy that was welling up in him.  
  
"He was you," Rose agreed. "And I love you. How could I not want to be with you?"  
  
"You haven't seen my Sixth self," the Doctor reminded her with a shudder. "Trust me, there are situations where you might not want to be with me."  
  
Rose laughed out loud, a brilliant sound that brought lightness to the Doctor that he didn't expect after such a revelation.  
  
"Well, then," the Doctor said with a smile. "How about I try to convince you why you were right to choose me over him?"  
  
"Hmm...intriguing," Rose grinned. "I like the sound of that."  
  
He held out his hand to her, and instantly hers was clasped inside of his. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, and looked happily into her eyes, before leading her down the hallway towards his bedroom.  
  
Their clothes were shed, slowly, as they undressed each other like they were unwrapping a precious gift, peeling each bit back slowly, as if they were afraid that they’d ruin the moment. The Doctor’s heart felt like it was going to burst, as Rose sat back onto his bed, wiggling backwards, without lowering her gaze from him once. In a quick, eager motion, he crawled onto the bed to join her, and, hands shaking, reached out to feel her soft, warm skin.   
  
He made love to her slowly, carefully, afraid that he would do something wrong, or ruin the moment. It had been so very, very long for him since he had been this intimate with anyone. And Rose Tyler wasn’t just anyone. She was special, wonderful, the first person he had truly loved in so many, many years.   
  
She cried out as he moved within her, gasping his name, and clinging to his torso. He buried his face in her neck, whispering her name over and over again. For a while, it felt like the only word he knew. _Rose_. She was all that mattered.   
  
Later, as they lay together in the dark of his bedroom, their bodies wrapped intimately around each other as they relished in the aftermath of their lovemaking, the Doctor slid his fingers through Rose's, their hands palm to palm, as he looked into her eyes lovingly.  
  
"Have I told you how happy I am that you're back?" he asked her. "I am so very, very grateful."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The red sand shifted beneath the Doctor's feet as he carefully strode away from Bowie Base One. He looked to his left, then to his right, and was relieved to see Donna and Rose, one on either side of him, matching him stride for stride.  
  
His relief was short lived, though, as the screams of the victims within the base started to fill his ears. Steffi was taken by the water, and Tarak only minutes later. Ed called out that he had been compromised. Moments later there was a massive explosion, and chunks of the rocket blew all around them. The heat from the fire was so powerful that he could feel it through his space suit, even as he was thrown to the ground.   
  
"Is everyone okay?" the Doctor shouted out, checking each side of him, and cursing the horribly limited peripheral vision from his helmet. To his left he could see Donna carefully pushing herself to her feet. On his right, Rose was a little slower, but soon she was stirring as well. Both of his companions assured him of their health, but he was quickly distracted by the horrific screams of the last remaining members of the Bowie Base crew slowly dying.  
  
"We have to go back," the Doctor insisted. "We can save them."  
  
"We can't," Donna reminded him harshly. "You said it yourself, Doctor. Their deaths are a fixed point in time."  
  
He turned and looked wildly in her direction. "But I thought so in Pompeii too, and I was wrong then, Donna. I was able to save that family. Who says I can't save these people today? Only three of them are left."  
  
"This is different," Donna reminded him. Her face looked pained through the glass of her space helmet, but she pushed herself forward. "Doctor, you know this. The fixed event in Pompeii was the eruption. Not the deaths of that one family."  
  
"You told us earlier," Rose cut in. "You said it, Doctor. This time it isn't the explosion of the base that's the fixed point. It's Captain Brooke's death."  
  
"You said that her death creates the future," Donna agreed. "We can't do anything."  
  
His shoulders sunk, deflated, as he let their words rush over him. The screams still echoed in his ears, but he already knew it was too late. Through the com link he could hear the countdown beginning. Action Five had been initiated and the crew on the base was counting down to their deaths.  
  
"We have to go," the Doctor insisted. He had wasted enough time. Now Donna and Rose's lives were on the line. They needed to be back inside the TARDIS before the nuclear device detonated and burning hot radiation infected the planet around him. "HURRY!"   
  
Running in a full space suit wasn't the easiest thing in the world. He had to help Donna and Rose each along, as they both stumbled on the rocky surface of Mars, but soon, they were reentering the TARDIS with only seconds to spare.  
  
The Doctor threw the TARDIS into flight, and they safely slipped out of time, back into the Vortex.   
  
Distantly, he realized that Donna and Rose were both pulling off their space suits, but he just stared into the time rotor, his mind running over the timelines of the event. Different possibilities and outcomes kept flashing before his eyes. He let them die and ran away, but what if he had tried saving them? In his mind’s eye he saw a snowy London night, heard a blast ring through the silence, felt the icy cold ground beneath his knees, and the numbing fear as he knew that he had gone too far.  
  
"Doctor," Rose's voice called him out of his daze. "Are you okay?"  
  
He turned to meet her eyes, carefully pulling his helmet from his head as he studied her silently. His eyes moved on to Donna, who also looked worried.  
  
"That was it," he told them. "I can see the timelines that could have sprung from this moment. Today was the day that I could have become him."  
  
“He tried to save them?” Rose asked, her voice shaking.  
  
“There was no one here to stop him. And in doing so, he damaged time itself. There’s still a distant scar on the timeline that’s just beginning to heal. All thanks to you two.”   
  
"Because we're here now," Donna realized. "We're here, so you're safe."  
  
"Yes," the Doctor agreed. "The future is filled with bright possibilities.” The smile that burst across Donna's face was infectious, and Rose’s kiss that followed lightened his spirits even more. "Onwards and upwards?"  
  
"To the future," Rose agreed, sliding her hand into his as he flipped the dial, choosing the next in a long line of adventures to come.


End file.
